The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2010!

 SMART  ASS ANSWER #6
 It  was mealtime during an airline flight.
 'Would  you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in  front..
 'What  are my choices?' John asked.
 'Yes  or no,' she replied.
 
 SMART  ASS ANSWER #5
 A  flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.  As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he  opened his trench coat and flashed her.
 Without  missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your  stub.'
 
 SMART  ASS ANSWER #4
 A  lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but  she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock  boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
 The  stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
 
 SMART  ASS ANSWER #3
 The police officer got out of his car as  the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've  been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
 The  kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
 When  the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a  ticket.
 
 SMART  ASS ANSWER #2
 A  truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that  read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows  it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged  under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
 Finally  a police car comes up. The cop gets  out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his  hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
 The  truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of  gas.'
 
 SMART  ASS ANSWER OF  THE YEAR 2010!!
A  college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate  any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a  nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in  your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses  whatsoever!'
 A  smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,  'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete  and utter sexual exhaustion?'
 The  entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was  restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head  and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with  your other hand.'
 
 A  BONUS EXTRA
A  woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy  with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look  old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
 The  husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near  perfect.