South Shall Rise Again

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
> "Hello, President Obama, a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is
> Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, in Mobile, and I am callin' to tell y'all that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"
>
> "Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!
> How big is your army?"
>
> "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my
> cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from
> Hooters. That makes eight!"
>
> Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army
> waiting to move on my command."
>
> "Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
> Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. Mr. Obama, the war is still on!
> We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
>
> "And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
>
> "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
>
> President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and
> 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half
> million since we last spoke."
>
> "Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
>
> Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. President Obama! I am sorry to
> have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
>
> "I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
>
> Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over
> sweet tea, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many
> prisoners."
>
> SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN