Reasons to be glad you are getting older:

> ONE*
> Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an
> order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
>
> I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
>
> "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
>
> "You don't?" I replied.
>
> "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
>
> "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
>
> "That's right."
>
> So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
> (Unbelievable but sadly true...)
> *
> TWO *
> I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
> Lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one
> Of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
> Between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
>
> After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
> "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
>
> Not finding the bar code, she said to me, "Do you know how much this
> Is?"
>
> I said to her "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today."
>
> She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
>
> She had no clue to what had just happened.
>
> *THREE *
> A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
> pulling it out very quickly.
>
> When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
> Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the
> ATM 'thingy.'
> ( Keep shuddering!!)
>
> *FOUR *
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
> "Do you need some help?" I asked.
>
> She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door
> unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a
> distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
>
> "Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
>
> "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to
> me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, " Why
> don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
> walk.... "
>
> *FIVE *
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was
> typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.
> What do I do?"
> "Just use paper from the photocopier," the secretary told her.
>
> With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it
> on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
>
> (Brunette, by the way!!)
> *
> SIX*
> A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take
> her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells
> her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine.
> The mother says, "I just gave him some ant killer...."
>
> Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency!"
>
> Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
>
> Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh . . .it is
> All true.
> *
> Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!*
>
> 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
>
> 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first
>
> 3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
>
> 4. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
>
> 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
>
> 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
>
> 7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
>
> 8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
>
> 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
>
> 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
>
> 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
>
> 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
> room.
>
> 13. You sing along with elevator music.
>
> 14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
>
> 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
>
> 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather
> service .
>
> 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
> either.
>
> 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
>
> 19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
>
> 20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.*
>
> *Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the
> same night.