Marriage Humor

 
Wife:            ‘What are you doing?’ 
Husband:      ‘Nothing.’
Wife:             ‘Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband:      'I was looking for the expiration date.' 
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Wife :       'Do you want dinner?' 
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' 
Wife:        'Yes or no.'    
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Stress Reliever

Girl:       'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' 
Boy:       'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' 
Girl:       'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
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 Son:       'Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom:     'Well, you have done the right thing.' 
Son:       'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' 
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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?' 

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'