OXY-MORONS?

 THIS SHOULD PUT A LAUGH OR SMILE IN YOUR DAY
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> > O x  y m  o  r  o  n s
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> > 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
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> > 2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
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> > 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
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> > 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
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> > 5. Why do we say something is out of whack?  What is a whack?
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> > 6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
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> > 7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
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> > 8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
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> > 9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
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> > 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
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> > 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
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> > 12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
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> > 13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
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> > 14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
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> > 15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
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> > 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
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> > 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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> > 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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> > 19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
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> > 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
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> > 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
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> > 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
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> > 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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> > 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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> > 25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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> > 26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
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> > 27. Christmas - What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
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> > 28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
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> > I dunno, why do we?